This Gift is Given to You
by Everything4Everyone
Summary: Characters read TheRiverScribe's By the Grace of God. Sam was God's gift to the world but he was broken. He was shattered, his soul shredded. And even though his soul had been healed, there was still a lot of healing left. So God decided to speed things up-by reading their book. Healing is hard and slow and painful, full of regrets and guilt, but it is possible, even for Sam.
1. Chapter 1

Anything underlined is property of TheRiverScribe

Raphael nodded at Gabriel, indicating that it was time to go. The Healer then knelt to speak with Morpheus. Sariel, Nuriel, and Barachiel joined him when he gestured them over.

"Alright, Sam. We're about ready to go in a minute, okay?" He said quietly.

Sam's fingers tightened their hold on his shirt. "Is it... can I keep my eyes closed?"

Gabriel could hear so many unasked questions in those first two words. _Is it going to hurt? Is it going to be okay? Is it going to last forever? Is it going to be bad?_ He sighed and pressed a kiss to Sam's temple. "Yeah, bud. You can keep your eyes closed and stay right where you are the whole time. I'm going to dope you up on some extra grace too. Okay? So it won't feel as long while we're flying. You'll be awake but loopy. Kinda like that gas at the dentist's office. Have you ever had that?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "I guess that'll be okay. I really don't want to feel like I can't breathe for that long."

"I know, sweetheart." Gabriel started to increase the layers of grace around the boy but stopped abruptly as he felt his Father's grace flood the room. He nearly dropped Sam, but luckily kept ahold of him, only stumbling back.

He looked around, searching for the source of the grace, for Chuck. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Michael burst back into the room, seraphs crowding Heart Hall to see their Father. But the human form of their Father was nowhere to be found, and Gabriel searched, frowning, for the source of the grace.

**"My children."** He whispered, the long-forgotten voice rolling over the gathered angels. Gabriel staggered back, eyes filling with tears, even though he himself had seen his Father recently. The power and grace filled him with awe, and he wrapped his arms protectively around Sam, whose grip relaxed alarmingly at His voice.

"**Do not be alarmed by what is to happen. It is meant to be. This world has been blind for long enough." **

Raphael and Michael stepped up to stand at Gabriel's side. Gabriel himself felt a thrill of fear when Sam barely reacted to Michael's presence, instead staring at something that, hard as he tried, Gabriel couldn't see.

"**What you are going to see will not be easy. There is torture and kidnapping and pain and fear. You will know things that you have never known before." **

His voice should have inspired fear, nerves, concern. But this was God. This was their Father. He wouldn't lead them wrong. He was healing them.

"**This is not a punishment, although it might feel like it at times. It is to help you, to heal you. It will be useful. It will help you understand." **

Sam's breath hitched slightly. Gabriel tightened his grip on him, sending feelings of love and comfort through his grace. He breathed a sigh of relief as the fledgling settled back against his chest.

"I know what he's gonna show us…" Sam whispered, and suddenly Gabriel knew too, but it was okay. They both knew it.

"**It will be okay. I only ask this one thing of you: do not fight between yourselves during the reading. There will be all of you, the remainder of Gabriel's flock, the human souls who helped revolutionize Heaven, and Lucifer. If you do not refrain from fighting, there shall be consequences." **

Sam stopped breathing, his mind flooding with fear. Lucifer. He was going to be in the same room as Lucifer, possibly for a long time. He wouldn't survive this. Memories of the Cage began to flood him, all in the same vivid detail as all his memories had been since he'd been changed. He shivered, remembered pain sinking his limbs. The Cage had been one of the worst times of his life and he remembered it so much better now than he ever had.

Gabriel flinched as Sam's pain washed over him. He had only rarely felt a pain so intense himself and to feel it from a fledgling was more than he could bear. He began to wrap more grace around the child, pulling him closer as if to physically ward off the pain, and sighed in relief as he felt Sam relax against his chest.

"**This is not a punishment. Heed my words, my children. There has been too much pain caused already just in this hall, never mind the rest of the world. But though all of you have suffered far more than I ever intended you to, there is one among us here who requires something more." **

The angels fell silent, horror radiating through them. There was only one here who could possibly have been hurt more than any of them, and it broke their hearts to even think of such a possibility. The little fledgling curled up against Gabriel's chest was the only one who could have possibly been hurt that badly, the only one that had survived all of those horrors. For anything that bad to happen to a fledgling, the first fledgling since before humanity's creation, felt like a personal failure to everyone there.

"**I cannot fix everything. Even I do not have that power. But I can show you the recent events that have happened to them and you can take steps to help them heal. They will need you, ALL of you, possibly forever. They have been hurt worse than any of you and it will be an uphill struggle all the way just to get them to admit it."**

Many of the angels had tears rolling freely down their cheeks by now, pain and guilt radiating out of them, and Gabriel was extremely glad that Sam was swaddled so deeply in his grace and couldn't feel the other angels. It would cut him up inside to know that he was the cause of all the emotion in the room. Even Michael was crying, tears trickling down his cheeks like thick raindrops on a windowpane.

"**They can see me right now, although they are the only one. They have been watching me ever since I appeared and never realized that they were the only one who could see me. To be honest, I hadn't realized that they would be able to see me. They are unique amongst all my creations and it saddens my heart to see any living thing in such pain. You can help with that. Pain never completely fades, but it can be accepted and forgotten. Help them where I can't. Do not judge without thinking it through. Listen to the whole story."**

God's voice flowed through their minds, healing them and giving them purpose in the sea of regret and confusion that they lay adrift in. Micheal straightened his back and reeled his grace in sharply, dialing it back severely. Sam let out a little sigh of relief as Michael retracted his essence. Feeling him so intensely had reminded him quite forcefully of his time in the Cage, as though Lucifer wasn't enough.

All the angels straightened, copying Michael and dialing their grace back. A few helped their neighbors off the floor until every single angel in Heaven was standing up straight and with purpose.

Gabriel smiled down at the fledgling in his arms. He had known that the boy had been looking at something that he couldn't see, but he never imagined that he had been looking at their Father.

"**You are about to disappear. Do not be alarmed. You are simply being transported to the reading area. If you haven't already dialed down your grace than please do so now. The next few hours will be hard and painful, but please bear with it and it will get better. The pain will fade soon."**

Sam clutched Gabriel's shirt tightly in his little fists. He hoped that it didn't feel like flying. He doubted he could handle flying right now, even as close to Gabriel and as wrapped in his grace he was.

A grace that Sam had rarely felt before touched him, a grace that felt even more familiar than Castiel's, and he relaxed. If he could, he would have reached for it, but he was too afraid. He clutched Gabriel tighter. He just wanted to get this over with.

The oddly familiar grace embraced him, melding with Gabriel's as if they were one, and Sam blinked. They weren't in the Hall anymore, although God was still hovering near the center of the ceiling as he had in the Hall.

"SAMMY!"

Sam's head snapped up at his brother's panicked voice, twisting around in Gabriel's jacket to try and find his brother. Gabriel quickly gripped him tighter, pulling him back against him. Sam struggled for a moment, but finally subsided, allowing Gabriel to turn so that he could see his older brother's fear-filled and panicked face. "Sammy!"

He threw his arms around his little brother, and Sam breathed in the scent of his brother, the fading gunpowder and leather, the fresh scents of the kitchen. He pulled back with a grimace. "Dude, were you making biscuits or something? You stink of flour!"

Dean scowled back, but Sam could easily find the light in his eyes as he fell back into their easy banter. "Yeah, well at least I'm not snuggled up inside an angel's jacket like you are!"

Sam snorted. "Yeah, like you don't go around wearing Cas's jackets all the time. I don't think I'm the girl in this family!"

Dean pulled back, affronted. "I'll have you know that Cas simply has the most comfortable and best-smelling jackets of anyone in our bunker! The Doc's smell all earthy and Gabe's smell all windy and I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a girl's jacket!"

"Mmmhmmm." Sam nodded, grinning widely. "You just like wearing Cas's clothes. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone… I won't have to. They're all listening."

Dean yelped, jumping back from Sam with a scandalized look on his face. "Sam! We're in public here!"

Sam grinned mischievously at him. "What, you don't want me talking about you and Cas in public? Why? Is there something I should know about you two?"

Dean broke out laughing, carefully stepping up to Gabriel to give Sam a big hug. "Don't you ever scare me like that again, you idiot." He mumbled into Sam's shoulder, and Sam smiled.

"I'll try to avoid it." He compromised. There was no way in Hell that he'd not ever scare his brother like that again, even though he didn't try to. It was unavoidable.

Dean nodded, pulling back. "Now…" He turned to the assembled angels. "Will someone please tell me what the fuck we're doing here? I don't really care how we got here, but if someone doesn't tell me what the fuck we're doing here then I'm taking my brother and getting the hell out of here."

Sam giggled lightly at his brother and the room suddenly fell silent as the beautiful sound rolled over them. Dean rolled his eyes, but Sam could see his face soften as he glanced back at him. "Yes, he laughs. Amazing. Now someone tell me what the fuck we're doing here."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam giggled again as Dean jumped almost a foot in the air, looking around wildly for the source of the voice. "You are all here to read a book, starting from the day Samuel Winchester was transformed into an archangel fledgling."

Silence fell. Sam couldn't help giggling as he saw angels giving each other looks like 'see? I told you!' He guessed that a lot of the angels had already guessed who he was, which really wasn't that hard to figure out.

"If you look around, you should find that there is a coffee table in the center of the room with a book on it. The room currently has no seats, but anyone who wants one can just ask an archangel for one, although I'd advise not going to Gabriel if you want a regular seat."

Sam could hear the smile in God's voice and grace, although God didn't have a physical form at the moment. He was almost tempted to ask why He had decided to forego His vessel, but kept it in. Now was not the time for ridiculous questions that had no importance.

God laughed, the sound carrying to all of the ears in the room. "I decided to forego my vessel, Sam, because this is only part of me. My vessel and part of my mind are still with my dear Amara, but this part of me is here with you."

Sam blushed scarlet and burrowed deeper into Gabriel's jacket, wishing he could disappear. Being called out for an embarrassing question that he hadn't even asked in front of all of Heaven, his family, and Lucifer, by God himself?

God fell silent. A hush fell over the room as everyone stared at the book on the coffee table in the middle of the room. It was closed and set right in the center of the table. The pages were a light cream and the cover was white with violet letters. He could tell by its rigidity that it had never been opened before, probably having been created just for them to read it.

Finally he sighed, squirming so that he could see as many people as he could. "So, who's reading first?" He asked, looking around. Everyone hesitated, unwilling to be the one to start.

Dean huffed. "I'll do it, Sam. We all know this bunch'a pussies won't. They're all too scared to start it." He turned to Lucifer, who was the nearest archangel to him at the moment. "Hey, whip me up a chair, would you? And not just a hard boring one either. Soft and comfortable. Thanks."

Lucifer blinked, absently snapping his fingers to make a chair for Dean. Most of the angels simply made their own chairs, sitting in close groups, often divided by flock.

Dean dragged the chair over to the coffee table, sitting down with a plunk. Everyone else arranged their chairs around the table, which seemed to grow bigger to accommodate them all.

Dean took one look at the cover and frowned. "It's called 'By the Grace of God' by TheRiverScribe. Probably another prophet of some sort. Hopefully not another Metatron."

He frowned, looking down at the book. "The title seems unfinished. By the grace of God what? What happened by the grace of God? I'm not reading another word until someone tells me what the hell this means."

A light chuckle bounced around the room. "I can tell you this one, Dean. By the Grace of God This Gift is Given to You. That's the name of the two parts when put together."

Dean frowned. "What 'gift' have we been given, then?" He looks down at the book in his hands, violet on white. Something told him there was some significance to the colors, some reason that there was white and violet.

Sam squeaked in surprise and panic as he was lifted out of Gabriel's hold, carried up into God's arms. His grace cried for Gabriel, but God soothed it, gently calming it until it lay calmly beneath his skin. He could vaguely feel Him doing the same for Gabriel but couldn't concentrate. His love poured over Sam, filling him with warmth and a feeling of belonging and love. He was safe, he was warm, he was loved, he was where he belonged.

"This is my gift to you." He said, voice sending shudders down Sam's entire frame. He was only vaguely aware that he was being held high in the air, could barely feel Dean's thinly veiled fear. All that he knew was the voice, His voice, and the feelings that He was pouring into him.

"Sammy? How the hell is he your gift? You mean just because you decided to transform him into some sort of baby angel thing? I don't get that." Dean snarked, trying to hide the fear that he felt rising inside of him at the sight of Sammy, his Sammy, cradled in the air being held, literally being held, by God himself.

And the only thought in his mind was 'Dam it, I always knew I should'a believed or had faith of some sort.'

God smiled, which Sam felt rather than saw. He could barely keep his eyes open, all his muscles relaxing. "My gift to you, Dean, is your brother. I have given him a chance to heal and you a chance to have a family again. You have wanted a family and it pains you to see your brother hurt, so I have given you both. You shall never see him in true pain again and he will always be with you. That is my gift to you."

Sam fought to raise his head, to find Dean, but he was gently hushed, grace cradling him and rocking him slightly.

Oddly enough, his thoughts flashed back to when he had been told that God was now his Father too. It had never seemed more true than at this moment, being held and rocked and soothed by Him, and he never wanted it to end.

"To the Host, my angel children, my gift was a fledgling. You have been too long without them. You have forgotten what it was like to have them. I give you a fledgling that has been hurt, has suffered centuries of abuse and torture. Helping him heal will also heal your wounds. Shed your guilt and focus on helping him. He needs you right now, more than he ever has before."

Sam could almost hear the sounds of crying, angels weeping silently with uplifted faces.The grace surroundings him fluttered with it, reaction to all the tears.

"To all my archangels, I offer a chance at family again. All of you have been pulled away from your family, forced away from the Host and driving yourselves mad. This child is your hope for family. Remember that."

Sam almost stiffened when he heard God mention Lucifer, referring to him as family, but couldn't do much else. The grace sang softly to him, telling tales of love and forgiveness, and he almost let himself believe that it was true. Almost.

"To you, Mary, I gave a chance for family again. You have no memory of watching your sons grow up and I am giving you a chance to spend time with them again. With Sam being how he is, you will have to be a mother to him once more, just like you were when you were previously alive."

Mary sat down slowly, twisting her fingers around in her lap. A chance to be a mother again? She'd love that. Did love it. Being a mother had been all she'd ever wanted from life, the reason she'd agreed to the deal.

"To all the souls, my gift to you is being able to see him. He will always be able to come and go and he will always be with you. He could stay for a week or five minutes, but you will always see him again."

Sam felt tears prick at his eyes and, sighing, let them fall. For someone to do so much for people… He truly deserved to be called God. He was so good.

"And to you, Sam," God whispered softly, just to him, "I give you everything."

Sam opened his mouth to ask what he meant by that, but He simply smiled and set Sam back down into Gabriel's waiting arms.

Dean sighed, peeking to make sure that Sam was okay. Pale and shaking and afraid, yes, but okay. Nothing was going to touch him here.

He picked the book back up, hesitating at the cover. What horrors were he going to be reading about? Could he do this?

He looked to his left, where Castiel sat in an overstuffed monstrosity that no one but Gabriel could have possibly made for him.

To his right was Sam, who had unconsciously curled his fingers around his jacket again. All around the table sat everyone, friends and allies and family and enemies and a few mutual acquaintances.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the cover and flipped a few pages in. "Here we go." He looked around the table. "Chapter One: Offering."


End file.
